Not hearing from me for any length of time can never be good. It means that I’m stressed – period. If I’m stressed, I can’t write anything except for readings. For readings, they’re easy for me to do regardless on what kind of mood I’m in as they’re not about me:) But anything creative or about yours truly – I get blocked. Which is where I’ve been all week – with the exception of Monday. My stress can be caused by a lot of things — too busy, family, kid, money, commitments, things moving too slow, too fast, etc…
And of course when I do get blocked, a whole lot of things happen that are never in my best interest. But when I’m blocked, I’m blocked from everything – the Divine, my soul group, friends, family – anything. It’s like my energy field throws up a huge wall that even I have a hard time removing. This week I tried doing my energy exercise every day and it didn’t make a beans of difference in the long term. I could feel the energy surge as I was doing the routine, but then it dropped as soon as I was done instead of standing fast. Plus, concentrating on doing it was very difficult. My concentration would only hold for a few minutes at a time. What would interfere? Anger.
There’s never one ting that throws me into this block. But once the ball starts to roll, it rolls. Thursday night I was actually cursing everything (exception my son who was in bed) and was telling the higher powers that I had enough. I’m tired of all of this. I’m tired of what I see, what I feel on a spiritual level – yet it alludes me in my physical life. I’m tired of hope. I went on to say, what if I just quit all of this – Gypsy Advice, the books, the blog – helping people spiritually — and went back to college? Got a job in a bank, went back to school to get my degree in Criminal Justice and just tried to be as normal as I could — with a “normal” life of a house, a job, a partner, dogs, cats, kids — etc…. What would happen then? Would my visions go away – my soul circle detach? Could I live a normal life with a boyfriend and be happy? My guides said no. 1st time I heard them all week and they were very clear about it. No matter if I tried to alter course, it would make things more difficult for me, but things would still progress – period. And if they had to – they would do something drastic to get me on the path and moving forward like they did with my cheating ex. So me being me said — well damn it give me a sign because I’m tired. One of the guys — anything, let me see it. So I turn around and what do I see – something about Matt. For a spilt second I felt better.
Last night I just couldn’t take it any more, being blocked like that isolates me and I hate the disconnect. I don’t function well and I do take notice that things around me get worse, not better the longer I disconnect. So after indulging with few things that always make me feel better (an episode of Psych, my animals, and a bowl of peanut butter ice cream w/magic shell) I asked for whatever is blocking me to be removed overnight so that I can get back to business.
Now I don’t remember my dreams in any huge context -but I do remember Bill, Ted and Will showing up at different times. I should also note while I’m thinking about it that Will came through every day as I was trying to do my energy exercises and pushed me like he was my energy coach. Not even him could get through this week except for those moments.
But I woke up and I feel better. Now physically I have that stupid chest connection thing I get every year – but it is not as bad as the norm. Although my voice keeps coming and going and I sound like a smoker when I cough.
So that’s where I’ve been this week: aggravated, frustrated, angry, hopeless and disconnected.
Many times I could feel Bill trying to break through. He was there – and I remember asking him – what in the hell do you want? Why now? I told him to go away. At first he wouldn’t – but that wall around me was pretty thick, so he stepped way back. Now he’s a bit closer.
Okay – now that was a first. Off to my right, the scenery changed to a ripple water effect. Have you ever seen the original Stargate – the movies? When they walk through the Stargate the 1st time, the way the stargate moved, looked like they were going through water. That’s exactly what it looked like. I couldn’t see it straight – it was off to the right. Glass on, glasses off – same thing. I tried to look through to see if I could “see” anything through the water ripples and I couldn’t see anything but a white looking blob of light. It was very odd. Only lasted like 5 minutes. I have no idea about this one — very baffled. It was almost as if I could see the doorway between dimensions. And you know, there has to be a doorway to another dimension. But what triggers the door to open? How long does it stay open? Does it ever close?
Off to work on DREAMERS. I may hop onto Keen today – so if you want, stop by and get a reading…..