Constant Cravings. That’s what I’m going to name the book about my soul circle experiences. Because that is what it is exactly – a constant craving to be reunited. It never goes away, never fades. In fact, every day it grows stronger – yet not all consuming. You can hide the cravings, try to ignore them, but they never go away. So every day you hold on – stay strong and pray that the reunion is just around the corner.
I notice an immediate shift in my attitude, mannerisms, creativity – when I allow the soul circle to flow through me instead of fighting that flow. After last week and the pit of hopelessness I found myself in – I made a promise. A promise not only to myself but to the guys as well – no matter what happens, I won’t cut off the light. I will not shut them out. It’s a horrible empty feeling – one which I do not want ever again. I’m not sure how Bill and Ted go through the day when they cut themselves off. They go through much longer periods than I ever do, when they throw up that wall and no one can get through. I don’t know who is worse – Bill or Ted. But I am going to make sure that they never feel like they are alone. I won’t give up when they put up that wall – I will not back down. I am more determined than ever to have us connect. I like it when I feel determined. I never fail when I feel this way – never.
What helps me feel this way is Will. He empowers me. His energy pushes me to strive — to attain a higher power of being. It’s hard to describe – but I can sense the shift in my energy. And if you go back through my writing in this blog, you should be able to pick up on it as well. I write the same (I think) it just has a different energy behind it. He has never cut off the light – he has not pulled back, not once. In fact, his energy and connection grows stronger every day.
I did finish my draft of DREAMERS last night. It is now in the hands of my manager so that she can work her magic and tell me what I need to change. My guide Ethan has told me on more than one occasion that with me being more “famous” and all – that I have to strive to be more known – it is to be in the realm of my writing, not of my psychic abilities. There will be a day when I will not do readings much any more and instead will be educating mass through my writing. But he doesn’t come out and say if my writing will be in the form of books. When I press for an answer, I am alluded to me making movies and stage plays.
My cat just ran off with my pop tart. Seriously – she just did. I looked over and she was dragging it out of my office. SIGH.
Anyways – not me “in” movies (God forbid) but writing them. However, I get a very vivid picture of Will and I doing a stage play based on our reunion journey. It’s too vivid to be passed up. The stage has very few props on it – not much in set design. Every show is different – there is no script. Each performance is organic. He’ll start with something and I’ll flow into it and visa versa. We act out our emotional roller coaster. It’s a goal to show people that reincarnation is a part of life, that soul mates/circles do exist but it is not an easy relationship to maintain. Eternity may bring with it a lot of love, but it also brings a lot of baggage — and the soul forgets nothing. Plus – it’s important to get across that if a person experiences what we have (and still do) that they are not crazy. Every day brings a new realm of possibilities to the table. Every day they are there -if you ignore them, they will still be there. But after time they feel more like baggage, wearing you down until you finally act on it and lighten the load.
And on that note – I’m taking my son to the Polar Express today. Things to do…..