Now don’t get your britches in an uproar because I haven’t been posting. No – there’s not a thing wrong here in Allieville. It’s just been a very draining – yet exciting – week and I haven’t felt like posting. Draining because my son has been home for most of the week (as noted in Tuesday’s post) and he really does drain me out. Love the kid to pieces – but he is a high maintenance kid. I had the pleasure of going to his parent-teacher conference and sitting down with his teacher and the principal of the school. Seems he is high maintenance all the way around. Highly intelligent child – but also very intrusive to other children. The kid is constantly in “on” mode. So we had to sit around and figure out how he can still do well academically in school without tramping on his spirit or the well being of other kids. Once we got that tentative plan into place – I went to pick him up at the after school program where his teacher handed me –SIGH — a write up. Seems the kid didn’t feel like listening to her either. That all happened on Wed. On Thur he did great and continued to do good once we got home and then went out to eat for our Valentines’ Date:) Friday hit (he’s off school both Fri and Mon) and chaos once again.
In other news – DREAMERS is done and accepted:) YAY! My manager’s boss likes it. A few things have to happen and then it’s off to the networks – fingers crossed! Now my attention is on THE BLACK TRIANGLE. If I have actual writing time — I hope to have this done by the end of March.
I have to remember to keep breathing for the next 10 days. Why? Because on Feb 27th – my son and I are flying to NYC to see Will. He and I will actually be face to face. Things are falling into place as they should. There are a few hiccups – but since this is a Mercury Retro right now, it’s to be expected. However since I know this is supposed to be as it is to be — I have no qualms that everything will work out. Will my son in I be in a large location like it was when I saw Bill? No. Will the energy be as toxic? No. Am I nervous? Yes — but excited nervous – not scared nervous like it was will Bill. It’s like finally seeing an old friend face to face after a long separation. In fact – that’s exactly what it is. This is my son’s 1st plane ride – 1st hotel — 1st trip. He’s very excited. He’s ecstatic about seeing Will. I am reminding him daily not to say anything that he “knows” about Will and I to Will. No romance, no marriage, no soul thing — unless the tone warrants it. And only then if I say something. He says he understands — I just hope he remembers it. However – if something blurts out – I’ll think of something.
Now on the 28th we’re flying back, he’s going to my mom’s and I’m heading to MI for the Maria Shaw Convention. I will have my Blackberry with me so I could post something to the blog the night of the 27th. But I’m not promising:)
At first I honestly wasn’t going to go to NYC – in fact when I found out about this on VD, I dismissed it. I talked to the Divine that night and said that I’m not asking for a reunion date – nor am I trying to rush things because things will happen when they are supposed to and not a moment before. But I miss him God – I miss Will. I don’t miss his essence – so to speak – as it’s with me 24/7 and for that I am eternally grateful. But I miss his touch, the way he loves me, the way he angers me and just pisses me off – I miss the way that he sooths my nerves and holds me to let me know that everything will be okay. I miss calming his fears, physically loving him, being his friend in every sense of the word and he being mine. I miss the way we push each other to be our best – the way we challenge one another around every turn. I miss seeing him around children and how his face lights up — and I miss working with him, using our creative energies. Just having one another in our lives so that we can pick up the phone and say hi. I’m not pushing here – really I’m not. But since you know me and you know him and what truly goes on in our hearts and in our souls – you know it’s time. I know it’s time and Will knows it’s time. And that’s all I have to say – thank you. I went to bed.
Then I went to sleep and had a dream visit with Will. We were in a crowded place – but not too crowded. I can remember a stage and he and I chatting. The convo was something about “yellow boxes” but it was just subtext (because my son was there) – we weren’t actually talking about the boxes. He and I are walking and I mentioned to him about coming over and helping me rearrange the yellow boxes. He gets this grin on his face – his cheeks flush – and he says: so that’s what they’re calling it now? I blushed too – as we both knew we were talking about sex. I woke up and I knew immediately that I had to get to NYC. That what I had said to the Divine the night before – this was my sign. So I became proactive — and here we are. So any good positive vibes you could send our way between now – and especially on the 27th would be greatly appreciated. Especially since the 27th is a moon void of course when people usually feel things – but are too lazy to act up on them. Do I think he will do anything about the energy between us? I honestly do not know. But I do know that I have to be there to give him that jolt. Funny enough, back to the few hiccups — Will can actually make them go away and a guy is talking to him about my son and I to make them go away. Another reason why I know things will work the way they are supposed to.
I am going to be soooo tired driving from OH to MI on the 28th. And sheesh – how am I going to stay awake and watch LOST? Speaking of LOST – Sawyer showed up in a dream visit last night. We were walking in the rain, firing up into the air these red pellets that were supposed to burst open and protect us from the rain – which had an acid quality to it. This is what I remember from our conversation:
Sawyer = S, Allie = A
A = What are you talking about?
S = My real name – what’s my real name? That’s a simple question.
A = Josh — something or other.
S = It’s Holloway. Josh Holloway. I’m not Sawyer.
A = In my fantasy you are – and that’s the way you are going to stay.
S = Why do I keep showing up in your dreams?
A = Who says I’m not in yours?
S = Because you keep calling me Sawyer.
A = Good point.
S = So call me Josh.
A = You’re Sawyer — you’re hot baddie with a soft side. That – to me – is a fantasy and that is how you are going to say.
S = Have we had sex?
A = Sex?
S = If I’m your “fantasy” guy, why haven’t we had sex? Isn’t that the point of a fantasy guy?
A = Maybe I don’t remember having sex with you.
S = Oh, you’d remember.
A = (damn he had a point) True.
S = Okay, so why am I here?
A = More important – why did you just show back up?
S = I’ve been here the whole time — you’re just too busy with Will to take notice.
A = Sounds like your jealous.
S = I’m the fantasy guy – I don’t GET jealous.
A = Fine – the next time you show up, we’ll have sex and get it over with. That way you can go away and we don’t have to deal with one another.
S = That’s comforting.
A = Besides — if you were really a fantasy man, you’d be naked and you just wouldn’t speak.
S = Now you’re thinking like a man.
And I woke up. I remember this convo in such detail because it was just before I woke up. His appearance looked like Sawyer. But he kept trying to morph it to not be in character and I guess I kept morphing him back — it was funny.
Back to Will. Remember when I posted something here about Will – left it up overnight – and took it down (if you didn’t see it you weren’t supposed to) because who ever was supposed to see it – saw it? Well on Wednesday I got a message from my guides saying that whoever saw the post – did something with the information about the post and things are unfolding as they should. And there you have it.
Okay – I’m going to try to get something else don