Time again for the hunt for Alison Ashby. Seems the promo’s for my Pillow Talk on the L Word is gathering steam. Tonight’s topic – BDSM. Ought to be an interesting chat indeed! If you’ve ever wondered how to join me for this free chat, it’s free to join The L Word in the virtual world Second Life. Click here to register and download the software: http://lword.sheeplabs.com/cgi-bin/sl_register_user.pl you can find me at the amphitheatre at 10:00 pm EST/7:00 pm SL (second life).
Waiting for the school to call me — maybe they won’t but I bet they probably should of. Why? Because my son went to school with a headache. When this happens – he has an 85% chance of getting the flu. Happens like clockwork. So we’ll see if he’s in that 15% today:) (I wrote this all this morning. He came home from school fine, but his eyes tell me that he is coming down with something)
By nature I am not an aggressive person. I get mad – blow it off and that’s that. If you’ve done me wrong or my family wrong, I have a very hard time though with forgiveness. But being angry and being aggressive although they can be one in the same, can be separate. I’m working hard to separate them when it deals with my ex. If he invades my thoughts at all, it spikes my blood pressure and alters my mood for the worse. So I have been practicing a ton of thought control over the last week – especially over the weekend. He told our son that he’d see him and then didn’t bother to show up or call. My poor son, he doesn’t know why his dad does this. I can’t tell him because dad is a selfish ass. So I try to divert his attention and it works for awhile – but I can still tell he’s sad. So a part of me would like to bash in my ex’s head with a baseball bat – the other part of me wishes he would fall off the face of the Earth and explode. Because if you’re going to fall of the face of the earth, you might as well do it with style. SIGH. So I push out those thoughts when they crop up and insert thoughts that make me happy:)
Back to the whole thought thing though. I am amazed at how my thoughts shift my energy. When I think about the ex – I can feel my energy shrink and get negative. I can then feel my body getting sick, feels wore down – etc… as soon as I shift it to say Will, my energy immediately shifts to a very positive feel and if I’m ill, I can feel the illness dissipate. When I think about debts – the energy gets all funky like it does it with ex – think about having enough money to pay bills, get an RV and etc….the energy shifts to positive. When the energy around me is positive, I attract good things, more work and give more accurate readings than when my energy is all ratty and blah. Depending on my energy is when I attract certain clients to me – positive energy brings positive clients and positive people into my life.
The way mind and energy works together is a wondrous thing.
I had a dream visit with Ted the other night. We were at — what else but a party — and he was chain smoking up a storm – pacing back and forth, one cig after another. He had on a gray hoodie and blue jeans, tennis shoes. I really remember the dull gray as it made his deep green eyes really stand out. . Someone told me that he liked a 13 year old girl — which I thought was way gross – so I went to talk to him about it. Said that person was mistaken and that he had a daughter who was 13 and looks just like a little woman and it freaks him out. He goes on to say that he has always liked women who are 10 – 20 years younger than him. He said – you almost fit in that age bracket. For the life of me I couldn’t remember his age. I kept calling him 45 – but I knew I was 40 and that didn’t make sense. Then it dawned on me that he was 48. I grabbed him by the shoulders and drew his face to mine. I told him that I had been looking for an excuse to work out — maybe he can be my excuse. His eyes lit up — he said — that would work you know. That would get you in. I said – it would? He’s like hell ya it would. My thought – what a superficial ass. But he had been acting like an ass now for weeks.
I sat down at a long table – he was to sit across form me and we were going to play a game of cards. But he stood against the wall chain smoking. I looked at the guy he was to sit next to and that guy was a non smoker – I think that most of the people at the table were one. So I jerked my head to the left saying – come on — sit. And he did. But he took the smoke and exhaled it right in that guys face. I said — that does it. You are a fucking ass and I’m done. I woke myself up.
Now – is there any reason for him to act like an ass? No. But lately that is how he is acting. I wonder where the sweet man went? And I wonder what will make him come back? I think he needs some more light sent to him.
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