Ted, Bad Choices, And Bill’s Here Too!

Ted. Most of the last 7 years he has stayed in the background. He’d pop up every once in awhile in a dream to let me know he was okay. I always loved it when he said hi. There’s a sexiness to him that is not found in any other of my soul mates to date. It’s just that SOMETHING he has where I’m concerned. I can’t explain it. He stirs it all up – from every part of my soul. I suppose you could say he lights my fire – and not just in a sexual way.

I can feel all the range of his emotions at any time of the day no matter if he is purposely “right there” in my energy or along the other edge of my personal space. I feel all of it.

He’s always in pain. Deep soul pain. He masks that pain by his revolving door of marriage (he’s about to wed #5) and his drinking. Through every smile – every laugh – I can feel that stinging pain.

It’s never more evident when he is in my energy on purpose. When he shows up in my mind’s eye and we have the telepathic connection going.

That’s what happens when you find a member of your soul cluster and uncover some of your shared past lives. With each past life uncovered, the connection grows stronger. So far with Ted I am aware of 30 past lives. 80% of those lives were also spent with Bill. In the relationship dept, whenever all 3 of us are alive at once, if a romantic relationship is supposed to happen – I’m with Bill.

And while I would never kick Bill out of bed – I think Ted & I are way overdue for a romantic relationship.

Of course since Ted is in my energy big time now – Bill needs to show up too.

But back to Ted. Out of all my soul mates, Ted is the only one that if you look at a combo astrology chart that our shared sun is in the house of marriage.

If we’re supposed to be in a relationship – how do we get there? He has and will keep on making very bad personal choices. He needs to shift & heal. Me – I don’t make any choices – about anything important – and that I feel is my problem. I’m on autopilot. That has to change. Both easy fixes if you’re not the one making them.

How to take myself off of autopilot – that’s the million dollar question.

I can only shift me – Ted has to do it on his own too.

What can I do for ME to get me off of autopilot? (stay with me here – I’m brainstorming)

  • Get my ass out of my chair and work out 3x a week.
  • If I’m not going to freeze my ass off – walk outside daily – even if it is just around the block.
  • Go back to karate.
  • Write a NEW screenplay & stop editing the old.
  • Create Atlantis world for book series.
  • Do 1 small thing a week that is outside of my comfort zone.
  • Have a social life <—–what the hell is that?
  • Set a schedule and stick to it.
  • Start making You Tube videos again.
  • Date more often. (wait — who put that in there?)
  • Be more open & less guarded.

I also need one BIG thing to take me out of my comfort zone.

Humm…..that would probably be the 1 woman stage show I’ve been wanting to do for the last 7 yrs. Or – run for city council. That would do it too! Crap – those scare the hell out of me.

You see – as I was writing this post is when it hit me smack in the head – if I’m going to meet him (and he is the 1 soul member I need to meet before I die this time around) if for nothing else but to check on him – I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. That’s how this post went from Ted to Bill to Ted and then me.

Us meeting – if even briefly – would be a benefit to both of us.

Thoughts you intuitive souls?

ps: oh hell – I need to finish the book Soulful Connections.

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