Here it is a Friday night and it is my 1st full weekend without my son 🙁 I miss the kid already. But I’m betting that my glass (or should I say glasses) of White Zin will help to get me to sleep. My TV blew up the other night in my living room – so I had to move my digital cable box to my bedroom TV. So here I am on my bed, watching TV with my laptop drinking a bottle of wine. My animals keep looking at me like I’m off my rocker – LOL! I have all 4 cats on my bed.
Tomorrow I’m going out by myself for the 1st time. I’m heading up to Blossom to watch Howard Shore and the Cleveland Orchestra play the Lord of the Rings soundtracks. But before that I’m heading out for a solo dinner. I’m looking forward to my self-date:)
Speaking of dating — I joined Match.com & Chemistry.com for the hell of things. I seem to scare guys off – LOL. It appears thus far that no one wants a partner who can tell when their lying. SIGH. Eventually at some time – some place a guy won’t be scared off – he’ll be intrigued. I’m in no hurry. I do like the practice flirting through.
So what I have been up to this last week? Writing – a lot of it – and many readings. And I’ve had many visions this last week. They have been very spontaneous, quick and they show up from no where. Many of them have shown up when I’m about to fall asleep or when I’m driving — when my mind is relaxed and I’m not working. Here’s a quick run-down of several of the visions:
1. Seeing Ted in a large open area, many people milling around. I can feel his eyes on me – I look up at him and I freeze. He smiles. As he walks towards me it fades from view.
2. Will and Ted sitting on a picnic table, looking over a book or something together.
3. Matt grabbing my hand and telling me to trust. I tell him that I can’t. He begs me to trust him.
4. Ted playing with my hair.
5. Me bringing Ted to my mother’s house for Turkey Day.
That’s what I can remember off the top of my wine induced brain right now.
I woke up from a great dream visit with Ted the other morning. Bill was in it too – but it was mostly all about Ted. We were at my mom’s house for some gathering (could have been Turkey Day I suppose) – and there was a huge table set up in the living room as the dining room was full of people. Ted and I were talking about how lucky we were to find one another. I introduced him to my mother and she kind of gave him the 3rd degree – but in a nice way. After that was done I mentioned to him that if I ever met his mother, that she would probably do the same thing. He smiles and says probably. Then he says — this just feels too right — and it scares me. I sat down across from him and told him that yes, this does feel right and at this moment I am so happy that I’m afraid if I pinch myself I’ll discover I had been dreaming.
He said that he was tired and wanted to lie down. I showed him where a spare room was that he could nap – jet lag. I remember feeling in the pit of my stomach that I was afraid that this was all a dream and that if I looked back in the room – he’d be gone. So I kept checking back and he kept saying – I’m not going anywhere.
We sat down for dinner and I was at the corner of the long table. There was a blank seat to my left and then sat Bill. I was discussing Ted with a guy I went to high school with – David – and he said that he had no idea who I was talking about. Then Ted sat down in between Bill and I and said – don’t feel bad, not too many people know who I am. I told him — I do. And he was happy with that. I tried twice to talk to Bill and Ted interrupted. Bill and I did take notice that Ted was not letting us talk. Ted was very polite and loving. I woke up with a very nice energy around me.
And yes – I have had several OBE sex experiences this last week – most with Ted but one was with Will. I just need to find the time to write them down!
I think it’s almost time for me to snooze. I have 2 dogs staring at me like they have to go pee:)
BTW…email is a fricken nightmare. It’s a bit overwhelming to say the least.