I wanted to talk to Jezell this morning. I could feel her hanging around on the outskirts of my energy field. My bet is that she knew I was troubled by the comments made yesterday by Bill and Will in regards to divorcing my husband. It’s one thing if two people do not get along and decide that they need to go their separate ways or if one is tired of trying to make it work and the other just is not interested — or even if they have just outgrown one another. But to be told that this has to be done in order to get to the next step didn’t sit right with me. Maybe because I don’t like being told what I should or should not do. Of course – I do keep asking what is coming up next. In a way this could be viewed as me wanting someone to tell me what to do. But, what it is meant to be is me asking for what the next level or step is – and then me coming up with the path to take to get there. I’m a girl who likes options.
I find Jezell at the meadow. She has a certain spark to her eyes, I don’t know, but it’s kind of mischievous, yet soothing. We exchange hellos and stroll around the meadow, which is this realm is sunny and in full bloom. She asks how I’m doing after my talk with Bill and Will. I reply that she knows I was not happy with it and I ask – were they right? Is that what really has to happen or where they putting their own personal agenda in there? And what’s wrong with Ted – is what they say true about him?
In your heart you know it’s true about Ted. He misses you. He yearns every day for you. But how he deals with that it up to him, not you. His life choices are his choice – not yours. Your relationship with your husband has no baring on the next step. What will happen with you two is already set into motion and it is not of your concern. Well, I would think that it should be of my concern – after all it does affect my life and my son’s. Jezell nods – correct. But what is in motion cannot be stopped by you or by anyone else on the earthly plane. What is to be is to be. Concern yourself with only the things that are within your control.
That doesn’t seem to be much – I add. Oh, there’s more than you think that is in your control. For instance – your last book could have been done last year. But it wasn’t. You could have had your book done on Kyra as well as the book on your gypsy holocaust story. But no. The time that was given to you, in your control,was spent doing something else. Your reactions to your husband or to any of the men are within your control. How they respond is not up to you. Your health, your spirituality – is all within your control. If it pertains to you — have control over it. So you see, there are many things in your control.
Nothing like a guide to put things into perspective. Jezell laughs – I’m just doing my job. Speaking of which, when are you going to get that last book done? That really is what the hold up is in your life, the limbo you feel, it’s that book. Is that why Robert was pushing me so hard last year to get them done? Jezell nods in agreement. You need to stop fearing what comes next and accept it. You always tell people that change is inevitable and that one should embrace it. Time you lived what you preached.
I stop by this wonderful oak tree and have a seat. But what if I’m no good at it? What if I let people down? Jezell sits next to me. You were born for this — the path you are on is your human shell’s destiny and the final mission of your soul before you become a guide. You have more strength in your pinky finger Allie, then most people have in their entire body. You can move mountains if you wanted to — but you have to have the faith that you can. No one can give that faith to you.
All I can do is to stare off into space. My mind is blank and I am actually speechless.
She takes my hand and moves my head so that I am looking at her. Remember when you first discovered Bill? Yes. That shook your world didn’t it? Yes it did. It changed everything that I was brought up to believe. But, Jezell says, you had faith that what you knew was the truth, regardless of what anyone said or your past beliefs. That’s correct, I reply.
The same with Ted and then lastly Will – you know in your soul that it is truth – you have the faith – correct? I nod in agreement. Then your mission in this lifetime demands no less show of faith than what you have had in regards to your soul mates and soul circle. Once you accept your role, you will know it is the truth and then your faith will reflect that. In turn, your reality will reflect your faith. You know what you say about thought. Yes, I reply, it is something that I firmly believe in.
You know why you refuse to be told what to do? Because you are a leader, not a follower. Even the greatest of leaders have doubts about their abilities when they allow their human minds and ego to cloud their soul’s judgment.
You know what needs to be done. Jezell kisses me on top the head and disappears.
And I’m done.
Time to get to work.