Emotions – the dirty little secret. Why can’t they be center stage? I mean seriously, they fuel our lives. But no — instead they’re in a dark – dusty corner — like a creepy Uncle we do not want anyone to meet.
With all the inner work I have done on myself and the thousands of people I’ve helped so far — it’s because emotions are TOO DAMN HARD!
They can get out of control. Make you say or do things that only a crazy person would do.
Those crappy emotions push you beyond your boundaries. Get you out of your “safe zone,” and smack dab into the fire.
They give you LIFE. LOVE. JOY.
How dare they!
Despite all the good they do – we tuck those emotions away. Put them in a nice neat little box with a blue ribbon and only bring them out when something screams EMERGENCY!
So if our emotions are tucked away — what are we using? Our darling brains — you know – the other creepy Uncle that tells you horror stories night after night and laughs his ass off because you can’t sleep. That’s the creep we’re allowing to run our lives.
My dance with the creepy uncles really took center stage in late 2008.
Pre-2008 you couldn’t get me to shut up. If you look at my blog posts from 2008 back, you’ll see that I’m much more open. I never used flowery language, it’s not my thing. But you could tell I had a spark when I wrote – there was a fire – a curiosity.
There was emotion. It danced happily around me and though me.
So what happened?
I had no clue. Really – I didn’t. I thought and thought about it. At first I blamed my ex husband. But divorcing him was the best thing for me – so it didn’t make sense.
I had by “ah-ha” moment over the weekend.
The guys.
Yes – Bill, Ted, Will, Vincent, and the crew.
Specifically Bill & Will.
I talked about Bill and Will and what went incredibly wrong in Monday’s Ask Allie podcast.
Right after Will, I put my business on hold and went back to school from 2009 – 2013 gaining both my BA and MA in psychology. I knew that there was no way for me to connect on a spiritual level if my brain was flooded with psychology facts & reports. It was easy to shift to my cool, logical side and stay there. I couldn’t get hurt and I didn’t have to emotionally invest in anyone.
My emotions were tucked away in my little box with the blue bow.
When you connect to soul mates, your twin flame – you not only emotionally connect through heart energy, but soul to soul. You feel what they feel. They feel what you feel.
It’s all on full body, soul, mind connection.
It’s fucking intense.
Between Bill & Will ripping my heart out and stepping on it – these guys feel a wide range of emotions w/ the lower emotions (anger, loneliness, frustration, etc..) being more frequent than joy or love. The guys all love what they do – but most of them can do without the notoriety that comes along with it. Very few of them actually enjoy being in the limelight.
I had a friend ask me on Monday, “Allie, how did Bill & Will rip out your heart? There wasn’t an emotional connection in the decision. They made it as casually as choosing tea or coffee to drink. Will coffee be upset if they choose tea? Of course not. You’re attaching emotion to a decision that was in fact, not centered around emotion.”
So the person who has trouble with emotions now – became this way because I’ve attached feelings to an emotion that wasn’t even present (for them) at the point where they made a choice.
It’s exhausting.
It’s so damn exhausting because the creepy Uncle who likes to tell horror stories (AKA the brain) keeps reminding me on what MAY happen if I allow my emotions out of the box to play.
He screams stupid (yet scary) crap like:
“You’ll get hurt again.”
“You’re too damn old for emotions.”
“Once your emotions get in the way you’ll fail at writing (your business, love, money, etc…)”
“Emotions make you weak.”
“You’re soul circle will be back — and you know what people say about that!”
And he’s on that loop, cycling through my brain any time my emotions start to claw their way out of that damn box. This loop is doing exactly what it as made to do – keep me fearful & chained to the loop.
So what do I do? I have to open that damn box.
My life depends on it.
How do I open the box and toss aside the lid & ribbon? Logically, it makes sense to just turn off the loop. But logic doesn’t apply here. If it did we’d all be happy & living the life of our dreams. Gosh — how horrible would that be?
So logic is kicked to the curb. That leaves that woo side of me to take care of it.
I’m a bad-ass energy mover and can move anything anywhere. But unless you (or in this case – me) remove the root – all the energy moving/healing/balancing in the world won’t stick.
Here are the steps I’m taking — and since this is still in beta mode – I can’t tell you if it works yet. But how about you work on it with me and we can compare notes?
How To Kill The Creepy Uncles and Let Your Emotions Out (and stay out) of the Box
- Acknowledge you have a problem with emotions (check).
- Discover the root of the problem via any method – meditation, talking w/friend, writing, dreaming, etc….(check)
- Every single day – no matter what – write how you felt that day and the emotions you experienced. No one cares about your thoughts of the day — just how you FELT (ongoing struggle – so a small 1/2 check).
- Do one small thing a day that brings you joy (check).
- Do something nice each day for someone else (check).
- Be open & vulnerable to one person a week (unchecked – difficult so I keep putting it off. will update when I have my 1st check).
- Be mindful to when you feel pain or joy — allow both to pass through your heart (ongoing struggle – so a small 1/2 check).
- Optional: daily dosages of flower essences: Bee Balm & Bottlebrush from Green Hope Farms.
This is not easy for me. But I had 41 years of flowing emotions and only 6 years of down time. I know I can do this. And so can you!
It’s time to kick the creepy Uncles to the curb!
Let’s keep in touch with our struggles and our victories! Keep me updated in the comments below and I will do the same!
Onward and upward baby!
Allie xo
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